April 27, 2008

more than i knew


Sometimes it seems that Laura and I don't share a lot in common...at times I wish that we were closer...and I wonder if she knows just how much I love her. We are not great communicators...I think it is something that I have passed down without even realizing it...something I wish I could change in myself. I tell her that I love her...every day...morning and night...and sometimes in between! But if actions are louder than words...do I show her enough? She is so content to be on her own...to make her own fun...so, a lot of the time, I just let her. And as I say that...maybe we are more alike than I really imagined. Sometimes I just need to be alone. I have a special spot here in our home, where I love to sit, and reflect. It is where I sit and talk to God...where I sit and read...where I sit and dream. It is a cozy spot...that looks out into our front yard...where, from the inside, the garden looks lush and green. In this spot, I am surrounded by family photos...by the people I love, and who love me. And when the morning sun streams in through the window, I feel that God is reaching in. But this spot is not my own...my daughter loves this cozy spot as much as I do. She sits there in the late afternoon... reading... drawing... reflecting. The bright sun has passed, and now she sits in the soft glow of evening that is quickly approaching. The squeaky chair doesn't bother her...she is somewhere far away, and the quiet creaking is just a background noise in her day dream. So this chair...that we both love...maybe she picks up my thoughts where I left them...then adds her own for me to collect in the morning. She is my precious girl...

2 comments:

carie said...

don't doubt that you have a closeness with Laura...you have an intimacy that only the two of you will ever share...simply because you love her and she loves you...as mother and daughter...and i suspect you are more right than you even know.

suz said...

aaawwwww.
You are MORE alike than you realize. As she gets older, you will see it more too, I am sure.