April 30, 2008

comfort zone

Everyone has one...a comfort zone. And it is so nice there! You know everyone...everyone likes you...you know where everything is...and you get to be in charge. And I'd never leave mine if I wasn't forced. And if I never left it...never put on my big girl shoes and headed out into the world...my life wouldn't be quite the way it is...and I would certainly not be who I am today. But it is scary out there...beyond your comfort zone.

Today I am remembering a huge leap outside my little comfort zone...15 years ago today, I was forced (by love) to get on a train outside Boston, and travel to NYC to meet my husband, who was arriving on the USCGC Dallas after being gone for 6 weeks. Just thinking about it makes my insides quiver! It was way outside of my zone...waaaaay outside, and I had to go it alone. Just buying the ticket was almost too much for me...but when the day came, I dressed my best, put on those big girl shoes, and headed out the door. Once I was on the train I had time to relax and plan my next move...and get nervous about the next step. I was even nervous about seeing Eric...he had been gone 6 weeks...had been out to see the world...and I was still, just me. Grand Central Station...WOW! A million confident people all hurrying off in all directions. And little me, trying to look like I knew what I was doing...making my way to the closest door. Thank goodness that there was a taxi stand- I certainly wasn't ready to hail one myself- but I did get into the taxi, relay my destination and pray that I would arrive there. Almost there. I can do it. I waited for the ferry to Governor's Island, knowing that on the other side, I would meet up with the Ombudsman, who I had spoken with on the phone, and who would get me the rest of the way. Almost there. You can do it...So there I was at last...standing on the pier in a crowd of wives, moms and kids...waiting for the ship to dock. I had come so far, and there I was still standing there, all alone, feeling like my big girl shoes were way to big. And then he was there...in front of me...and all my fear melted away and I was back in my comfort zone- Eric's arms. Eventually, I learned how to hail my own cab...find my way through NYC...drive out of NYC to find a mall...but those first steps outside my comfort zone were terrifying...and wonderful, as I learned that I really am capable of more than I think I am. So when I am forced out of my comfort zone...or feeling brave and leaping out there on my own for no particular reason, I try to remember these experiences. My wings are strong...stronger than I think...it doesn't hurt to grow and learn...it can be scary, but no matter where we go, we are never alone...God is by our side.

2 comments:

carie said...

wow! what a fabulous memory you just shared...can you even believe how much your feet have grown since then?? clown shoes would be more like it now...amazing!!!

HappyWifeHappyLife said...

GREAT story! And just think.... one day you can tell your grandkids that story! :-)

I moved to NYC when I was 18 years old.... I think back on that now and I wonder "Who WAS that brave girl?!" Definitely not me.