September 08, 2009

tears on sunday

We have our fair share of scuffles… but usually nothing that the Crooked-Mom-Eye look won’t stop. And it is fairly rare that one of our children just downright disobeys. But it happens. Or… it happened. This weekend. Somehow… I was able to keep my cool.
Over the years I have learned that it is most effective to let them stew and wonder what I’m thinking… but really, my heart was broken. Not necessarily about what was done… but about the lie that followed. I suppose that over the years I have also learned that a flash of anger is easier to set aside than lingering disappointment. So I sat in the living room and waited it out. I sat, with my broken heart… while he was in his room doing who knows what. And then I sat some more… until I couldn’t stand it for another minute.
He was tucked under his blanket in his bed, reading. Sitting myself down on the side of his bed, I sighed. He curled around and sat looking at me… with red-rimmed eyes that looked ready to spill. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me? And in that moment I was thankful for the misstep. Thankful… for the chance to remind him that I will always forgive him. Thankful... for the love that God placed in my heart and the certainty in knowing that there isn’t a thing in this world that either of my children could do that would stop me from loving them. Thankful… that my son, closer now to thirteen than twelve, could throw himself into my arms and hang on...letting relief wash over him.
I am hopeful... that it will be a long while before we sit in disappointment again and that the lesson has been learned. But God does have a way of working good into the bad, and since I am trying to see the brighter side, I will say that I surely love seeing His work.

17 comments:

jenn said...

thanks for sharing what you have learned over the years. I am still learning not to over react. My son & husband took a school trip to NY city this spring. Aus came home with a very fake $30 watch he paid for with his own money. He was so proud of the watch and at the fact the man wanted $40 and Aus got it for the lower offered price. B let him make the decision on his own after the warning of "don't you want to save your money for something else". I bit my tounge when I saw it and commented--"how nice!" After three days of wear--his wrist was green--oh, lessons learned--sometimes the hard way!!

togetherforgood said...

What great lessons God teaches us through our children, and teaches our children through us, if we let Him. :)

Richella said...

Oh, Dawn. What a sweet picture of God.

Can you believe that He's given us the privilege of being LIKE HIM?

Thank you for understanding grace and sharing it with us.

Busy Bee Suz said...

"I suppose that over the years I have also learned that a flash of anger is easier to set aside than lingering disappointment."

This is advice from a good parent who has learned early on the way to deal with our children. You are brilliant. Your kids are great. We all mess up...I am sure it won't happen again for a lonnnnggg time.
Take care, suz

emily said...

Thanks for sharing this with us, Dawn. This parenting thing I will never figure out, but this moment in your day is such a sweet example of grace.

julie said...

wonderful post! your a good mommy!

Playing Sublimely said...

Thanks for sharing...it was sweet to read about the grace and peace that followed.

Kelli said...

Grace and mercy are beautiful things!!

Jen said...

You didn't need to say a thing..Your son has learned well from you.

Hillary @ The Other Mama said...

Love this, Dawn and SO TRUE! Sometimes in that flash of anger it's so hard to see what could POSSIBLY be good out of that situation. What a great way to look at the moment. Thanks for sharing!

K said...

Being a mom is a tough job.

I'm sure he learned from the experience.

dawn said...

dawn- I have a thirteen year old daughter and can so relate to the disappointment that comes from the lie more than from the mess up. When the lies happen, it is usually because she is afraid to let us down with the truth...and the irony is she lets us down more with the lie.

But I forgive her--easily, in fact--and rejoice that these times are few and far between.

thanks for the reminder to take my time when I'm frustrated or angry. So wise.

Jo@Mylestones said...

So your music is playing "you make everything glorious" as I comment. Rings exactly right. Even when we (or our children) mess up, He makes beauty out of our brokenness.

amy said...

"But God does have a way of working good into the bad, and since I am trying to see the brighter side, I will say that I surely love seeing His work."

Love that! :) Thanks for sharing that sweet story. And for stopping by my blog!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

What a tender heart he has...Good job, mom!

deb said...

I hear you, feel you , respect you , and wish you could have felt a hug there. I am always amazed how my heart and spirit just swallows me up in heavy drowning and then the love washes us up transformed. Again.
It is humbling and beautiful. But heartwrenching every time . As it should be I guess.

Cassie said...

Good grief. (No, really, there is such a thing as good grief!) This post is an excellent example of a mother's love and God's grace. Thanks Dawn. Blessings!