November 19, 2008
when i can't speak
I suppose I think he can read my mind... I suppose I expect him to, after all these years together. And if not my mind... at least my body language. But why? I don't think I have the right to even think he can... even though, at times we read each others thoughts. Sometimes, it is hard to say the words I want to say. Sometimes it is hard to voice them out loud- lest they not sound the same on the outside as they did in my mind. I go over them again and again, hoping that I can tell my sorrows in soft, loving words, that will not offend, or be mistaken for anger. I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy... pleased and content. But sometimes, you have to say what is on your mind... and deal with what comes next- when what you thought you meant wasn't quite what you thought you said, which certainly wasn't how you meant it. I am thankful that after the tears and misunderstandings, we can come back together with a hug... and pick up our love story right where we left off.