While my kiddos are traveling through the mountains with their grandparents, I have time on my hands. Lovely time... to do with whatever I please. Today my hubby & I will take in a matinee, but the last couple of days have brought the urge to straighten and sort. I have found myself in their rooms... just tidying up. Not the good spring cleaning that is long overdue, but the kind that includes sweeping surfaces clean, making beds... just enough so that I can leave the doors open and not want to run screaming when I wander by. So here and there, I am making some progress. And last night I pulled down a box from Cam's closet... his memory box. There were several things waiting on the shelf beside it, just waiting to join ranks. But as a Mama is prone to do... I dug down deep in the box and reveled in the smallness that once was. The tiny booties and the once-shiny silver spoon... the brittle pacifier and the Guess-How-Much-I-Love-You-Bunny. Oh I know now... that I didn't enjoy it as I should have. I didn't grasp onto the days as I wish I would have. But the moment has passed, and the lessons have been learned. One disappointment was what wasn't in the box. I feared that it might not be... and to find that I was right saddened me just a touch more. Blue Bear. A gift from a girl I worked with... soft aqua blue... squishy and scented with chamomile for a good night's rest. Oh how my Cammie loved Blue Bear. They spent every night snuggled together, Cam asleep within moments of being laid down. By day Blue Bear was dragged and tumbled and gnawed on. I'm not sure I even have a photo of the two of them together... but it was love. And I wished that Blue Bear had been in that box. How could I not have saved him... Pushing on, I decided to clear the rest of the closet shelf. Sweaters and blankets and old school papers. Beanie babies and marble track... and suddenly there he was.
Blue Bear. Tattered and stained and not even a faint whisper of chamomile remaining... but love oozed from every stitch of him.
Blue Bear is my gift this week. Maybe the reminder I needed, that no matter how much I think I didn't cherish those long ago moments... I actually did. And it does a heart some good.
Wander over to to discover a few more everyday gifts...
at Emily's Chatting at the Sky.