March 31, 2009
on the edge
If you know me well... you know. You know that I have been dreading turning the page... from March to April. For the past nine years... April has been my least favorite month of the year... filled to the rim with sorrow and tears. But I want to grow... I want to reach for hope and for healing. I want not to feel the tremble in my heart as March begins its descent into April. But how? How can I feel the joy of spring when my heart is missing those people who left this earth in April? And how can I not feel the pain of those nails that pierced the most loving hands ever created... the darkness of Good Friday? My mind knows how the story ends... but my heart... it aches, even now. But I want to focus on the light... the promise of Heaven... the glorious Son-rise. And maybe this is my year. As I dip my toes into the puddles of tears... left by my April showers, I am stepping out in faith... with great hope. I am stepping out and letting go... not of my memories, but of the darkness. And just maybe... as I search, I will see how the sun glints off of the tears... and creates a thousand beams of light.