behind her tears

A little sad news came our way today... our dear friend Le` (Laura's Godmother) had to put her dog Kensal to sleep this morning. He was part of her life for just over 17 years... and I know how hard it was for her to make the decision. But Kensal was also a part of our children's lives... their whole life. And so it was hard to sit down this afternoon... and share the sadness. I could see the understanding pass over Camden's face... and his downcast eyes told their own story. But it was Laura I focused on. She is the girl who goes through life on her own accord... letting nothing bother her or affect her too much. But she is also the girl that cried a thousand tears two summers ago over our cat Emma. And so I held her hand, and carefully watched her emotions... concerned that she might have a thousand tears more to cry... and wanting to be able to pull her quickly into my arms if it was what she needed. She was almost expressionless... sitting there with her tea... her hand in mine. But I knew better. And I could see the tears begin to gather in her eyes. I realized what she was trying to do... she was putting up her wall... desperately willing the urge to pass her by. My girl... she knows it is okay to cry... and to let everything out... but I think she recalls, perhaps too vividly, what it was like that July. That fear that once the first tear falls, they might never stop. So I continued to hold her hand... and just sat there with her quietly as she quickly wiped an escaping tear away with the other. She may not often show her true emotions... but behind her wall of tears lies a heart as big as the sun...