a skip in my step

Moments before I headed out the door this morning, I announced to Eric It's my birthday! He looked at me, with a lot of thinking in his face... until I excitedly added ...at work! He said he just thought I had gone crazy...
So, no.
Today is not my birthday... but it is coming... soon!
And the gals at work know... you gotta spread out the celebrating.
So off I went to work... with a skip in my step. Because birthdays are good. Yes... they are. Birthdays celebrate the uniqueness of an ordinary day... and as Elizabeth would say, they mark another trip around the sun (don't you just love that?!) And then there is the cake!
Yes.
Birthdays are good.

searching for the season

There is no company coming. There is no food to prepare... besides the Congo Squares, which will only take an hour. All I am expected to do is show up... and really, that is okay. But it is just one week away... and this girl is desperately searching for Thanksgiving. I have stepped forward with a thankful heart, as I do most days. I have decked out my house in all sorts of fall splendor. I have made lists of the blessings He has bestowed on me, and still... I feel like I am missing something. Even the cat seems to have more holiday spirit than me... and it leaves me feeling all muddled inside.
I suppose I am missing the trees and the colors. The green palms are swaying, and many are already adorned with white twinkling lights. There is not a stitch of fall left in the stores... or even a stray orange sprinkle. I long to sit in the open arms of fall... but in my busyness, have I forgotten how to rest? I have been going full-steam ahead for weeks now... just placing one foot in front of the other... trying to make it through. But while my feet are running, my heart seems to be lagging behind... and I realize I just need to slow down if I am to enjoy anything at all. My heart need not rush trying to catch up with the world and dive right on into Christmas.
Perhaps there is too much pressure... to feel. Shouldn't it be enough to play with my family the day before Thanksgiving, and mix up those Congo Squares, and maybe a batch of blessings mix? To snuggle up on the couch and wait for those magnificent balloons to fly? To join my parents and share a holiday meal, with God in the midst of it all?
As I lay out these plans... I wonder why I am searching for something I already have. And today... instead of slogging through my blessings and checking them off like a grocery list, I will choose to splash in them.

speechless and running

The sun was dawning on this brand new day as I traced my usual path... but, in glancing up, there was nothing ordinary about the sky. Beautiful pinks and golds merged the clouds together with the sky above me... and I wish I had toted my camera on my morning walk. With my eye to the sky, I drove my daughter to school... and watched further beauty unfold... each moment seemingly more beautiful than the last. Returning... I promised myself that I would not pass up this day... this moment. Putting the car in park, I ran inside to grab my camera... and captured the beauty... or at least all the beauty that a lens will allow. And I stood... just soaking it all in... and marvelled at the heavens.
Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, remain that way. Say nothing, and listen as heaven whispers, "Did you like it? I did it just for you."
-Max Lucado

rewinding the week, part 4

I loved watching Laura realize what was going on... seeing her face light up with surprise and disbelief and happiness. I loved hearing that giggle down in the back of her throat as she processed the information and waited for her brother to figure it out. But words were not necessary to feel her joy and to see her excitement.
When Camden finally realized what was going on, his eyes opened wide and his mouth constricted to a tiny "O". He went from slow confusion to shocked joy in a sliver of a second.
And then the shouting began. Maybe not shouting, but certainly a loud combination of words and laughter and explanations. All that the grown-ups had whispered about was finally on the table. The details of the when and the where... a little bit of the how... all amidst spaghetti and candlelight. And it was beautiful.
I think my kids are most excited about seeing the animals... they are such nature lovers. Camden and my Mom poured over the Africa scrapbooks with a new level of wonder, as they talked about what we might see. And me? I think I am most excited about seeing another corner of the world and the people. The stories my Mom has shared have given me a glimpse of another life, and her love for the people she has met has certainly made an impact on my own heart. I cannot wholly fathom that on the same page of the same calendar, people can live so differently. Africa is a world away from me... in so many more ways than distance. I am anxious to experience it, and I wonder if it will change me. I hope I am brave enough to embrace it all.

rewinding the week, part 3

You can count on me... to keep a secret.
It is fun at first... to have a secret little dream tucked close to your heart. But as time passes, and the dream begins to grow, the secret is harder to keep and it just wants to burst out with shouting.
We had to wait a week... to tell the kids about Africa... until some of the travel books arrived, and until we could all be together. As each day of waiting passed, there were more phone conversations with my Mom, counting down the days, and being so thankful that we were not waiting until Christmas. And, at least, if we could not tell our kids about their grand surprise, Eric & I could whisper behind closed doors... because the excitement was so close to the surface and to not say anything was to chance the secret spilling out accidentally.
Perhaps by chance, Laura & Camden forgot to retrieve the mail from the end of the driveway... it is usually the highlight of their day. But for whatever reason, it was me who found the big thick envelope with the travel logo. I could not race to my bedroom quickly enough. I double checked to make sure the bedroom door was closed, and that if one of the kids happened to walk in, that I would be out of sight. Confident that the secret would not be exposed, I began to browse through the travel book and tried to absorb the reality. We are really going to Africa. Now, to keep the kids away from the mailbox for three more days...
By Sunday, my every thought was of Africa... and the need to tell was getting to me. Laura, did you finish up your laundry? We are going to Africa! Camden, make sure your backpack is ready for school. We are going to Africa! What should we have for dinner? We are going to Africa! Don't get the mail after school tomorrow... We are going to Africa! But my heart was somehow strong enough to keep the words prisoner in my head.
When the day of telling finally arrived, every fiber of my being was electrified with the excitement. I could barely sit still at my desk. And if both kids hadn't had important after school commitments, I would have raced home and sprung them from class. At ten to four, I finally declared that I couldn't take it any longer, and headed home, only to wait impatiently on the couch... and then finally it was time. I wasn't sure how my parents would tell them... but I knew it would be great.

rewinding the week, part 2

another real-life Africa picture taken by my Mom...

This African safari skidded from a gentle might be to a hearty maybe... and then it was booked. Somewhere between maybe and that elated We're going to Africa phone call, I stared to really feel the excitement and the tears often rested on the edge of a dream coming true.
It wasn't really my dream... not from the start. My own dreams have never stretched beyond the borders of my own country, except maybe to skip over to Hawaii or up to Alaska. I have been so content to live through the pages of my Mom's scrapbooks and hear her stories. And I have been comfortable seeing the world on my TV screen... and occasionally being able to shout Mom & Bob did that! when teams were racing through Australia or Europe. I have loved every minute of my parent's travels... their memories, the trinkets that adorn their house and ours, and especially that they have had the opportunity at all. In fact, that is where those tears slipped out over the edge and fell onto my heart. In one excited phone call, talking about passports, my Mom told me that she has to renew hers... and in the next wonder-filled breath said I never even thought I'd ever have a passport at all... and now I am renewing it!
To think about it makes me tear up all over again. How much I love this woman... and want the world for her. She teaches me to dream beyond my little corner of the world... and when I'm uncertain, she shares her dream with me, and little by little it is becoming mine...

a secret revealed

The time has come...
All day, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach... and the adrenaline rushing through my veins. I could not get home quick enough. We couldn't get down to my Mom's house fast enough. But then there we were... rushing into the house with the thunder crashing and the lightening crackling... surrounded by candle light. No power? I asked my Mom. And she just glowed... and said How perfect. We'll be dining by candlelight most nights. Gathered around their table, eating leftover spaghetti warmed on the grill, my daughter wondered why I had the camera at the table. But soon... she realized. After just a few bites of her dinner, she saw the message. And her smile lit up the room as she was now in on the secret. Cam was a slow eater. We urged him on... and while he knew there was something up, he couldn't quite grasp onto our hints. Eat faster. Do you want some bread to lap up the sauce? Gramma will take your extra sauce... And his eyes opened wide.

So... what is the secret?

Can you read it?

Yes. We are going to Africa. Ever since my Mom first set her feet down on the African soil, she has dreamed of sharing it with her kids. And soon she will.
I'm sure I'll have more to say...
and more to share once my head catches up with my heart...

music and laughter

Those flying fingers make me smile. A lot. And the smile usually turns to laughter within a few beats of the metronome. Ms. Julie knows just what Camden needs... and ratcheting it up a notch is just the thing. That boy of mine certainly loves a challenge.
And I love piano lessons.
Wednesday afternoons just wouldn't be the same without them.
When Camden first started taking lessons, Ms. Julie invited me to sit in on the first few. I grew quite comfortable on her spare piano bench... and I told her that she should kick me out... but in three years, she never has. And either has Camden. Truthfully, I'm not sure I could stand to be sitting in the waiting room... listening to the laughter and wondering what could be so much fun on the other side of the wall. And so there I am, week after week, a part of that laughter: smirking at Kooka-burro (the stuffed donkey who is not a Democrat)as he sits atop the piano... arching my eyebrows at the twinkies (those little mistakes that are inevitable)... chatting about the new studio and marvelling at the fact that even when she is talking, she never misses a beat or a wrong note and encourages the correction... and watching their fingers fly together as they play as fast as they can without making a mistake, which is apparently a great way to learn.
I never leave that lesson without wanting to throw my arms around Ms. Julie and thank her... for the lesson, of course... but also for knowing my son and knowing just how to teach him.
As for the music... it is coming right along. He gets better and better each week... ready to learn something new or take a song to the next level. And never once... has he ever not wanted to go to his lesson.
I love piano lessons... the music, the laughter... and the love.

making up time...

A beach day without sun... but also without rain. An overcast day, but a day, nonetheless.

And I could not resist yesterday... the bright sky and the golden sunshine. It called us to play... whooping down slides, climbing up and stepping off the high dive with trepidation... and simply leaning on the water gun... aimed directly at her brother.


I'm starting to feel like summer is slipping away. Feels like it is half past summer.... or maybe even a quarter til school- and we are just starting to have our fun. Well, just me. These kids of mine have had a fantastic summer, and I'm just trying to catch up with them. But these past couple of days... they have been full of joy. Full of playing... and not getting much crossed of of the to-do list. But I have never found that my housework doesn't wait for me... it is always there... and will be when I'm done playing.

Nothing is worth more than this day.
-Unknown

this ain't no rodeo...

Maybe it started out rough... a crackling microphone and music playing loudly over the announcer... but all in all, it was an awesome night. Okay... two nights. My husband loves me, and he knew that even though I said one night would be enough, that maybe I'd like to go both nights. Oh yeah... he loves me. And my quirky hobbies.
What an experience... to be in an arena full of cowboys. To me... they embody the American spirit... or at least what I want it to be. Hard work, lending a hand to your neighbor, honoring our country, and praising Jesus... all mixed in with a lot of dirt, and a little glory. I was as fascinated by the bull wranglers behind the chutes as I was by the bull riders. The climbing on the rails, up and over... and into the pens... somehow directing the bulls into the chutes. These cowboys are not afraid of hard work or getting dirty... I think they live for it.
When the Marines processed in with the American flag, people rose to their feet and removed their beloved cowboy hats... without an announcement asking them to do so. And before the real action began... there was prayer. Cowboys on bended knee in the dirt, hats over their hearts... asking Jesus to watch over them. No, they were not afraid to pray in the name of Christ Jesus. These guys give everything they have... and appreciate everything they get.

I enjoyed every minute... I laughed, I screamed... and occasionally, I covered my eyes. Win or lose... eight seconds or one... these cowboys love what they do. And it shows... in their laughter, a hearty hand shake, and a lot of dirt caked on their jeans. And as they say... This ain't no rodeo... this is the PBR!

my real life

It's almost two weeks since my kiddos have abandoned vacationing and settled back into real life... and that goes for me, too. Even though I wasn't really vacationing. It has been an adjustment... once again fitting in the "must-do's" that vacations just don't demand. Though the floor in the piano room has finally been reclaimed... the laundry has begun to pile up by the washer... and the dishes, that are once again feeding four, are seeming to overflow the sink. There are tiny action figures peeking out from beneath a sofa... and armchairs are marking time in a waiting book. Somehow, there seem to be fewer hours in the day...

But there are also more I love yous ... and helping hands. There are sweet bedtime kisses... and rumbling laughter and flying penguins. And when I take a moment to push the mess from my mind, I realize that there isn't much more in life that my heart requires...

Sitting down and searching my heart for a Tuesday gift to unwrap is one of the best parts of my week. Reflecting on what makes my heart beat... my face smile. And it teaches me to seek out the treasures that God graces us with in every day.

there's no place like home

I had my own illusions of their homecoming... hearing their voices as they climbed out of the car... and their traipsing of feet as they raced to the door... and into my waiting arms. But I am not that kind of Mama. I am the kind of Mama that is waiting in the driveway as soon as I hear they are getting off the highway... even though it is ten minutes away. I am the kind of Mama that turns her head to look at every passing car as it drives on by... even though I know it is couldn't possibly be them yet. I am the kind of Mama that raced to the car door before it was completely open, so I could embrace those kids that I love so much.

I would have liked to take a photo of Cam tumbling out of the car... but then my arms would have been too full for him. I would've liked to take a picture of Laura's animated face as she told about her adventures over our pizza dinner... but her smile was brighter than a camera would have captured. Thank you, Jo, for reminding me of these things, and for reminding me that being in the moment is better than the photo you could snap.

They are still sleeping...snug in their freshly made beds... and as I wait for their sleepy eyes to appear this morning, I am thankful for...

...this beautiful mess.