lasagna & snowflakes

Sunday afternoon became a mess of panic-stricken hurrying to accomplish... something. In my determination, when the computer took time to catch up with itself, I took to cleaning and straightening... not wanting to waste a minute. When the ringing phone interrupted my go-go-going, I paused but then gave in to answering it... since through the magic of caller id I knew who was waiting on the other end. I certainly don't claim to be focused, and I eagerly welcomed distraction from a friend. And it was a call worth answering. An invitation? For dinner? Tonight? I could have said No, I really have so much I need to get done tonight... but I never did fit in a trip to the grocery store and my family was likely to have stale crackers and lunch meat for dinner... so I accepted. It turned out to be more than an invitation... it was also motivation to keep on working... but maybe more than that. Her phone call felt like a life-line in my afternoon... once the offer was made I knew that it was exactly what I needed. An invitation to relax... with friends who don't mind if you show up for dinner in your pajamas. And I suppose there is not much that a glass of wine and a dinner I did not have to cook won't fix. Add in a lesson on making paper snowflakes and a little singing & dancing (complete with jazz hands) in the kitchen and the crushing stress of my procrastination had all but vanished.
Friendship. Laughter. Lasagna. Corny music and jazz hands.
I will have to remember this recipe the next time I pile too much up on life's plate...

Unwrap a Tuesday with Emily at Chatting at the Sky...

cookie crumbs

We were watching a Christmas special on TV. About food... Christmas food at Disney. We oooed and ahhhed... and wished that we could somehow join in on the fun. We watched them make candy canes from pulled sugar, a six foot yule log and gingerbread houses from scratch... and even gingerbread men. That was when Cam piped up with I've never had a gingerbread man! I looked at him with a smidgen of disbelief... but then realized that he might be right. So I put it on the to-do list.
As he was leaving for school yesterday, I mentioned maybe mixing up some dough for us after school... and in return for those few words, there was a smile so wide... and a thumbs up as he headed out the door. I hoped that the visions of gingerbread men dancing in his head would leave room for a few math facts...
I did mix up the dough... having all of the ingredients on hand certainly helped my cause! But by the time the afternoon came, I was drained. Cam came home... and went right to his homework. I think he knew I was tired, because he never asked about making the cookies. I dragged myself to the kitchen to make dinner... and this little face popped out from around the corner. Need any help? I put him to work cleaning the cabinet fronts... and pushed myself a little more. When the chicken was simmering, I pulled out the flour and the rolling pin... and showed him how. He rolled and dusted with flour. He lined the cookie cutter up to get the most out of the sheet of thin dough... and we popped those guys into the oven. Cam was smiling the whole way. Pushing through just a little more, we mixed up a batch of royal icing... because if you are going to have your first gingerbread man, you need the whole experience...

I could see the excitement in his eyes as he readied himself for his first taste... and I hope he could see the love in mine. Do you like it? And his affirmative response came muffled with a full mouth of spicy cookie... and a few stray cookie crumbs.

Unwrap a Tuesday with Emily at Chatting at the Sky....

(wow... this is post #400! who would've thought i would ever have this much to say?!)

finding blessings

It will come as no surprise… to me, or anyone else… that real life can bog a Mom down. We give every ounce of our very beings to our to-do lists. Husband. Kids. House. Work. Life. And sometimes it leaves you standing at the open freezer door with nary a dinner idea in sight. Until, of course, you hear your Mom’s voice in your head telling you that you are letting all the cold out and wasting electricity...
It’s been that kind of week. Racing through to the weekend only to discover that the plans I had made have simply worn me out. And now it is Tuesday… and reflecting on the week, I am wondering if there is a moment worthy of unwrapping at all.
It makes me stop… and really think. Past the exhaustion. Past the worry. Past all that makes up my to-do list… and look into my heart. And there… I seem to find all of the blessings, that without Tuesday, might have been left in the field to wither.
Digging around in the bushel of my life, I smile…
At the silly hats Laura tried on at Target… and her exclamation over the one with a real peacock feather.
At the spontaneous outburst of the Scooby Doo song… sung in duet by my son & I.
At the blanket that still has the grass stuck to it… and holds the memory of Eric & I laying out in the backyard at 4am in search of shooting stars.
At my oh-so-close-to-thirteen boy flopping down across my lap and snuggling in.
At the conversation my daughter and I shared over soup & a sandwich.
And at the way he drew me away from the freezer door and took me in his arms.
It is time to harvest these blessings… and hold them close.
They are gifts from above.
From His heart to mine.
And not only worthy, but necessary to unwrap.

the readers

They have always loved books.
Always.
Laura was an early reader. Three months into kindergarten I brought home a few learn-to-read books to practice with her... thinking that it would be a good start. She was thrilled... and proceeded to sit right down and read every word. The first time through. And there has been no stopping her since. My daughter would rather read a book then do anything else. If you see her without a book in tow, please let me know... because there is likely to be something really wrong!
Camden started slowly. He wasn't too interested in the words... or even the letters. He just really loved the books themselves. He would lay on the floor for hours (yes, hours... even at two and three years old!) amidst a shelf's worth of books, turning page after page. In first grade he was still struggling...and I truly believe that if not for his love of books themselves, he might have given up on reading. But that summer... someone gave him a stack of Garfield comic books. I will never forget the day... we were driving along and a shout of glee-filled laughter filtered up to the front. What are you doing back there? And he replied... I'm reading. And I could not stop those tears from falling.
Saturday morning we were making our way to Gramma's... and Laura had her nose in her current book. Camden was just watching the world fly by as we closed the distance between home and Gramma's. Looking up for a moment, she noticed that he wasn't really doing anything. No video game. No book. And she said I have another book with me if you want to read it. Igiggled to myself... not surprised at all! She went on to explain the plot and added in that she thought he would enjoy it.
And so... those readers of mine... they read.

I love to seek the beauty in the ordinary... and I love Tuesdays at Chatting at the Sky!

finding lost time

Life keeps us running... and lately, with all of Laura's marching band events, we are putting one foot in front of the other faster than usual. We love it... but the weekends are gone before we know it. And it would be an understatement to say that there are things that are not getting done at our house. This weekend, we decided to push on through Sunday and catch up. Laundry? Groceries? Vacuuming? No... we caught up with each other. Because there are some things that you cannot put off another day.
We spent the afternoon wandering back through history... at the Old Florida Festival. While the wind swirled around us it seemed to also whisper the stories of days gone by. We laughed when the telegraph man described Morse code as the original text messaging.
Laura marveled over the lap weaver... and Camden made rope. Thankfully, not quite long enough to tie up his sister. We all stood, fingers in our ears, waiting for the cannon blast.
And while we explored the yesterdays, we discovered today... and enjoyed it as a family.

It is Tuesday... and I am thankful to have this family day to unwrap. See what the others are unwrapping today at Emily's Chatting at the Sky.

back then & here and now

Spending a day (or two) down in the dumps has got me thinking... and when I think, I am bound to learn something... mostly about myself. And I realize how much of the way-back-then affects my here-and-now. Sometimes it makes sense... and sometimes it doesn't. But I am learning, just the same.
I have never been particularly self-assured. At some point in my life, my shyness shifted to a great sense of self-doubt. No matter that my Mother assured me of my beauty and my gifts... when your peers decide that your worth is based upon their own ideas, no amount of motherly love can negate it. If I am to pinpoint the moment my childhood innocence was shattered, it would bring me back to the four-square court in elementary school. A game I was not good at, but at least I kept trying. It was finally my turn... and I recall feeling relief that a very good friend was choosing the next category. I whispered to her please don't pick songs because while I did listen to a radio, I didn't know any song titles beyond Row, Row, Row Your Boat. I don't think I will ever forget the look in her eye... as she purposely looked at me and announced Song Titles. No repeats. Devastated? You bet.
Just a year or so later, we moved. And of course... I was the new girl. And all that it implies. The trying and the teasing and the friendlessness... the longing for a peace. Eventually I did find that... and quickly came to know that having just a few true friends held more value than a crowd. And those people... miles away... I still count as friends. And their friendship is beauty to my heart.
These days... I am still growing. My shyness does not last quite as long, and once you get to know me... you know all of me. But I still know the real value of a few people who you can really count on. And I suppose... that is why it hurts so much to be hurt. One small disappointment from a true friend is more painful than a slight from an acquaintance. And while it haunts my heart... I am eager to climb out up over the dark wall. And I am getting there.
Where there once was a dark wall of steel erected around my heart, the wall I am building today is one of lattice. Open to let the sun shine in... and out. Woven with vine... that is all Jesus. He covers my sorrow with His outstretched arms and leaves hope. Even now... at almost 38... I am still growing and learning and building. I am not standing still. And that is something that I am thankful for.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:5


Tuesdays are about the messy, the lovely and the unexpected. The messy? That is me. The lovely? Jesus. And as for the unexpected... I guess it could be the lesson. Or the growth itself. Unwrap a Tuesday with me... with Emily. And all the rest of the Tuesday gals.

sitting in the quiet

When I woke, it was late... and the house was still quiet. It had been a long day... reaching far into the night, and if I had slept until eight, the others would be sleeping longer still. But the aloneness... it was good. The sunlight streamed through the slider and beckoned me outside. The coolness in the air surprised me, and I gathered my coffee and my book and sat... just me, in the air, and still in my pajamas. The book was propped open, and the words lay ready, but my mind sought something else. There were a million thoughts I could think to think. How to make the day better for next year. That I was happy with how hard my kids had worked. How I loved having my family lend their hands to our cause. My mind pushed the busyness away, and words began to work themselves into prayer, but the rustle through the trees shushed me. And so I listened. To the quiet. And I felt Him about me... pushing the me parts away and sharing the He parts that I needed. There I sat... legs folded beneath me... hands folded in my lap... eyes closed, with my face to the sun... and enjoyed the silence. And I breathed Him in... and all that He had to offer on this quiet, still morning that seemed created just for me.

He gives every day... and all we have to do is receive. But oftentimes... life blurs the reception and we keep running. It was gift enough... to sleep long past six. But the keeping me from my own craziness... it was another heaping of His love... and one I couldn't refuse. Tuesdays are for celebrating the little things... the overlooked moments... the simple and the necessary. Unwrap a Tuesday... come along to Chatting at the Sky.

waiting on fall

Although my mouth speaks bravely of waiting until November for the cool... the rest of my whole self longs for that first chill in the air. That first breath of relief. But I do not grow impatient... I courageuously wait for November. Sometimes though... there comes an unexpected gift. A gift of a cooler breeze than I have felt in six months. A gift of crisp, clean air. It might not last the week... but I will enjoy it while it is here. The windows are finally open, circulating the real air... that God made, not my air conditioner. And the afternoon sky seems bluer... just a touch more vibrant... but I suppose, who would not be? Basking in the light coolness after lumbering under the heaviness of humidity. Taking full advantage of this gift... I found a place outside to enjoy the last few chapters of my book. I stirred up a pot of white chicken chili... to be shared by a fire with friends. I sat and enjoyed... and even slipped on a light jacket. When summer stretches from May until the last few days in October, I cannot help but receive Fall as a most welcome gift... and celebrate.
...and I am not the only one. These hands belong to the boy who, upon climbing from his bed asked Is it cold out? He was hoping it would be freezing last week. Not so he would feel cooler, but so that he could enjoy a steaming cup of cocoa.

I'm linking this up to Emily's Chatting at the Sky for Tuesday's Unwrapped... definitely a piece of the ordinary to celebrate!

imaginary friends

Her name was Josie. To me, she was silly and no more than a game. But to my sister... she was a playmate and a confidante. Though I didn't even know who Josie and the Pussycats were, I just knew that was where this Josie came from. But I was wrong... she was just Josie. Tina's Josie. She rode in the car with us. She played dolls with us. She was always there... right beside my sister. I don't think she lived with us for very long, but while she did, she was as real to Tina as I was...

Imaginary friends. As a little girl, I never had one. And while I may have been a smidgen jealous of this friend who resided in my sister's heart, I knew that she had room for me, too. Before long, imaginary friends were a thing of the past, and learning what it meant to be a real friend became the highlight of my week. Making plans for our Thursday half-a-day, or heading out for a Brownie meeting... riding bikes around the neighborhood and through the woods. I began to really know what it was to be a friend... to cultivate relationships and treat others the way I would want to be treated. And real friends... they don't fade from your heart.

Last week I was lonely and disconnected... and I realized a Tuesday gift on a Friday. That my blogging friends are not imaginary... but real. I might not recognize their face if I passed them in an aisle in Target, but surely I would recognize their heart. My mouse skitters around their e-mailed comments or follow up notes... so as to save them for just a bit longer. Because those words... they erase the imaginary part of our friendship. Those words are tangible, and they make our friendship real...and they inspire me to know that my words might matter. Those words... they are gifts... from their hearts to mine... and back again... like a footprint on my soul.

I was so sad to miss Tuesday last week... because Tuesdays just aren't the same without my very real blogging friends... and the chance to unwrap the day with Emily....

Kelli is having trouble getting her link to work at Chatting at the Sky... but her post is too sweet to miss: Kelli's Tuesdays Unwrapped post

a tiny gift

I don't know if she suddenly released her grasp from the tangled carpet fringe while I was vacuuming, or if it had just taken years for her to make her way down through the inner workings of the la-z-boy chair... but regardless of the how, there she tumbled... at my feet. To another, she might appear to be just a bit of plastic, her expression worn off with time, but to me, a mother... this little Polly is so much more. She is a glimpse back... to laughter and little clam shell cases. She brings me back... to stretched out days of playing, with the sun streaming through the windows. She reminds me... of that little blond wisp of a girl with a smile as bright as the sun. She is... a gift to this heart... a tiny piece of yesterday I thought was long forgotten.

Unwrapping this tiny Tuesday... at Chatting at the Sky.

the little things...

My calendar tells me that Autumn begins today. The air tells me another story... but I will be patient. My calendar also tells me that the end of my secret keeping is just hours away (come back tomorrow if the curiosity is killing you as much as the anticipation is killing me!) But while I sit and wait... there are a few little things that keep popping into my head... and making me smile.

...my Friday night spot up in the bleachers... watching my girl march her heart out. A surprise visit from friends just added to the fun of the already friend-filled evening. Gosh... I love marching band, and all that comes with it.

...a little girl alternating between riding her rip-stick and hanging out in the stands with her dad while they watch her brother play football. How I wish their Mom was siting there... right beside them. But just seeing Abby smile makes my heart smile. And knowing that Jacob has found his passion with football gives my soul a little contentment. Lisa would be thrilled.

...my son- who has grown three inches since the end of July. Yes... three. No wonder he needs new clothes.

...a man baking pumpkin bread in my kitchen. What is not to smile about?!

...friendships. Old. New. Renewed.

...the way my nice-as-pie smile eventually turned the Verizon lady's attitude around to my advantage.

It was only a sunny smile, and it cost little in the giving. But like morning light, it scattered the night, and it made the day worth living. -anonymous

Something else that makes me smile? Unwrapping a Tuesday at Chatting at the Sky. Well, not just Tuesdays...

friendship and a tiara

It was a long week (why does it seem that the short ones always are?), and a day that stretched on without much motivation, try as I might. But I let her half-drag me out to a movie that I didn’t care about, because she is my friend, and I really wanted to spend some time with her. No time for dinner, we slipped through the drive-thru at Chik-fil-a... and I noticed the pink balloons, proclaiming Princess Night. I almost wished to be eating inside... but the very polite young man managed to find me a spare tiara, and that, with the Polynesian sauce, sweetened my mood... just enough to make it over to the movie theatre.
The movie was not great... and that, combined with a large group loud pre-teen girls scurrying in and out of the show (I really didn’t blame them, I just wished they hadn’t bumped my seat so often) was only made worse by my sweater not keeping me warm enough. But even bad movies do end... and when we finally left the theatre, the sky was pouring down sheets of rain into the dark night. Not a great scenario for driving… and as she was clutching the steering wheel, I offered to drive her car… because that is what friends are for.
Back at her house… safe from the pouring rain and the pre-teen chatterboxes… we peeked into the fridge, and discovered just enough wine for two friends to share. With a clink of glasses, we were able to sit on the couch and visit… and with my feet tucked up under me, and a tiara on my head, I was finally right where I wanted to be. The rest of day faded out as we sat there and visited… laughing and listening. And I am ever thankful for just such a friend.

Emily, thanks for letting me share my Tuesday (on a Saturday) Moment...
Tuesdays Unwrapped

my real life

It's almost two weeks since my kiddos have abandoned vacationing and settled back into real life... and that goes for me, too. Even though I wasn't really vacationing. It has been an adjustment... once again fitting in the "must-do's" that vacations just don't demand. Though the floor in the piano room has finally been reclaimed... the laundry has begun to pile up by the washer... and the dishes, that are once again feeding four, are seeming to overflow the sink. There are tiny action figures peeking out from beneath a sofa... and armchairs are marking time in a waiting book. Somehow, there seem to be fewer hours in the day...

But there are also more I love yous ... and helping hands. There are sweet bedtime kisses... and rumbling laughter and flying penguins. And when I take a moment to push the mess from my mind, I realize that there isn't much more in life that my heart requires...

Sitting down and searching my heart for a Tuesday gift to unwrap is one of the best parts of my week. Reflecting on what makes my heart beat... my face smile. And it teaches me to seek out the treasures that God graces us with in every day.

the rainbow

Whether you are praying for hope... for wisdom... for comfort... or for healing... there is nothing like looking to the sky... and finding that God has adorned it with His promise. There is nothing so precious to me as seeing that He has spoken to me in brilliant colors... that He has smiled on me and graced me with a beautiful gift.

Tuesdays are for looking into my heart and finding the beautiful amongst the clutter. Thank you, Emily...

just us

In every life there are days of joy and just as many others of frustration... and so many that seem to lack the necessary hours of extra time to spend... time for just us. But this month... has been a gift. Without those two sweet smiling faces gracing our home, we have had time to focus on each other... on ourselves, on our home. There have been many evenings that have included simply sitting... watching something on television... quiet between us, with perhaps just a burst of spontaneous laughter. But sometimes words aren't needed... and in the quiet, we are comfortable. And comfortable is good. And it seems, for as many quiet evenings, there have been other evenings and days when we have headed off on a whim... for a movie... for ice cream... for an unnecessary errand... for fun. And it is just nice to know... that when the time comes and we are on our own again, that we actually still like each other. That we can still make our own fun together. That we both cherish the comfortable. And so this is my gift to unwrap today... and maybe again and again when the moments between us get tense... or we feel like we are just passing each other in the hall, not pausing to see the love we share. And as much as I am looking forward to whooping and shouting when those kids come racing up the walk tomorrow evening... I will miss the times it has been... just us.

my turn

We teach our kids to put other's before ourselves... and their needs before ours. We teach them to treat others the way we would want to be treated. And they are good lessons. Important lessons. Necessary. But somewhere along the lines... we need to remember balance. That there should be some. And that it is okay to take care of yourself... once in a while. For these few weeks, when my kiddos are off seeing the world... it becomes easier. With not so many needs to focus on, mine become clearer... and more in reach. And with not so many needs to focus on, there is a little more energy to go around... a little more motivation.

Over nine years, I have painted almost every room in the house. And yet... the walls of my own bedroom remain stark... windows bare with the exception of one curtain that I hung and decided I didn't care for. It is the room I share with the love of my life... the room that catches all of the items that do not have their "place"... the room that I'd just as soon close the door on and forget. But the excitement over our bright new bathroom overtook me and lent a motivation that even I could not set aside. I knew that I didn't have the energy left to paint my room... not even one wall. But I thought that maybe I could at least show it a little love. And so... armed with ideas from all over the blog world (thank you,) a three dollar can of spray paint, some free frames (that have yet to be filled), and a couple of bedsheets transformed into curtains... I somehow managed to create a space that makes me smile when I walk in. A space that says You are worth it (yes, every cent of the $12 spent!) A space that fills needs my heart was longing for... a place that says I love you.

A gift given by me... for me. It sounds selfish to say it out loud... but I have treated others the way I would want to be treated... and I have put other's needs before mine on a daily basis. In all fairness, I need a turn. And it is amazing... how much a little treat is worth to this girl's smiling heart. A gift worth unwrapping... at least once in a while.