June 27, 2008

just a little housekeeping

While I was away, I had time to really think about my blog. I missed it... desperately. When we walked into the lobby in the hotel, my heart soared to see a computer... and then fell when I saw the "out of order" sign attached. I love this way of expressing myself... it is freeing... it is honest... and it has awakened something in me that I forgot existed- this urge to write. And while I began it just for me, it has become something else. Or maybe I have become someone else. I don't want to stop sharing... sometimes I think I live to share... but along the way, I lost something. I lost the reason for my writing. And guess what? Mom really does know best. She told me that she wasn't going to comment on what I wrote- because she didn't want me to focus on what she, or anyone, thought. Hmmm. My dear, forever friend put it best when she wrote, "I found myself rushing to my blog each day, not to share, inspire or create...but to be filled up...to seek reassurance that I’m okay...that I must be good enough." After a heartfelt phone call about just this, I feel I must follow in her footsteps. For now, I'm going to turn off the comments. I need to... just for me. While I was away, I was happy with just my notepad and paper... but I still want to share... because life is so full of grace... and my heart still feels the need to reach out and overflow and maybe help someone else find their way beyond grace. But if I have touched something in you, and you want to share, please... send me a note... e-mail me... let me know. Thank you for understanding.

On another note, I was able to post a few tidbits during our stay in Daytona... but now I have gone back and added the photos that were intended to accompany the words. Scroll back a little if you want to catch up!

1 comment:

Kat said...

Just perusing some of your old posts. This is good. Really, really good. I had a blog last year that I deleted because it became something I did not intend for it to be. Anyway, I completely understand this post.